为了不背叛老婆，我买了个充气娃娃。/sex dolls offer escape from rejection

By Wang Yan

Chinese social media sites have been at witter with discussion over a picture series depicting a 28-year-old man and his sex doll. The pictures show the man hugging his doll in front of a sunlit window, staring lovingly into its eyes and kissing the dolls hand.

最近，一组28岁男青年与充气娃娃的婚纱照引爆了网络。

The photo series claims the man has cancer and took the pictures because he didn’t want to leave behind a widow. More cynical readers believe the series is a viral marketing campaign for the sex dolls manufacturer.

But regardless of the truth or untruth the images depict, they speak to reflect the growing acceptance of pleasure dolls in sexually conservative China.

有网友称这组照片有炒作之嫌，但不管这组照片背后的故事是什么，近年来有关充气/仿真娃娃的话题在国内确是越来越常见。

1The Market of Sex Toys

Wen Jingfeng is the godfather of modern Chinese sex. In 1993, Wen opened China’s first sex shop – Adam and Eve – on Zhao dengyu Road in Beijing. The shop mostly dealt in aphrodisiacs until 2003, when the government removed sex toys from its list of “controlled medical apparatuses.

文经风被誉为中国现代性用品之父。1993年，他在北京的赵登禹路开了中国第一家性用品/保健品店，名叫“亚当与夏娃”。2003年以前，这家店都只卖性保健用品，包括安全套和一些壮阳药品。2003年，国家食药监局发布《国家食品药品监督管理局关于仿真式性辅助器具不做为医疗器具管理的通知》，从此，性用品脱离了管制。

“That day marked the birth of China’s sex toy market,” Lin Degang, founder of the sex toy megastore Chun Shuntang wrote in his book Adult Beauty.

“那一天可以说是现代中国性用品行业的生日，” 蔺德刚，春水堂的创始人在《成人之美》中写道。

Guangzhou opened what remains Chinas largest adult products market in 1997. The spacious 3,000-square-meter mall offers almost every kind of sex toy, and most of the vendors also deal in realistic sex dolls.

1997年，广州开设了中国目前最大的成人用品交易市场。在这个占地3000平米的商场里，顾客可以找到各类性用品。

“For cheap things, people usually just shop on Taobao. For more expensive stuff they want to actually see the product,” one of the shop owners told a writer for Letu Travel. Celebrity look-alike sex dolls with sweet voices are the most popular, he said.

“便宜的东西人们就上淘宝买啦，但是一些更高端更贵的，人们就想看看实物，”一个商户小贩这样说到。据说，有着明星脸的声音甜美的娃娃是最受欢迎的。

In 2008, some Chinese media reported that the market capacity reached 100 billion yuan and was growing by 20 percent annually，. As in many such reports in China, the figures were woefully inflated.

2008年，一些国内媒体报道称，中国性用品市场总值已经达到了1000 亿人民币，并且还在以每年20%的速度增长。但是跟很多国内发布的数据一样，这个数字难免夸张。

Taobao’s sales records in February 2014 showed that the site sold an average of 200 million yuan in sex products each month. Sdeouthern Weekly estimated that the yearly revenue of Taobao’s sex products is 2.4 billion yuan. Taobao accounts for 80 percent of China’s online sales, making higher numbers especially difficult to imagine.

2014年淘宝发布的数据显示，淘宝每月售出的性用品大概值2亿人民币。《南方都市报》根据该数据推测称“很难相信中国情趣用品产业能超过100亿。”

Lin said in 2013 that the value of China’s sex products market was 30 billion yuan, adding that the majority of Chinese customers only buy condoms.

蔺德刚在2013年也表示，中国的情趣用品市场规模可能只有300亿，并且大部分中国人购买的性用品还只限于安全套。

2Why Sex Dolls?

Searching for sex dolls on Taobao reveals around 5,000 items for sale. Price range from 250 yuan for inflatable dolls to more than 10,000 yuan for life-size dolls made of thermoplastic elastomer. In the top tier of sex dolls, customers can customize the doll’s eye color, skin color, hair color, breast size and vaginal depth.

在淘宝上搜索“充气娃娃”，大概会出现5000多个商品条目，价格从250元到超过1万元不等。如果订购高级的娃娃，顾客还可以定制她们的皮肤颜色，头发颜色，胸部大小，甚至是阴道长短。

Zhang Han, a MICDOLL (brands name) owner, told Vice UK that there are three reasons people buy sex dolls: “First, to satisfy a physiological need. Second, to take photos with and share with others. Third, cosplay.”

一个充气娃娃使用者接受VICE英国采访时称，通常人们买充气娃娃有三个原因，第一是满足生理需求，第二是为了拍照跟有相同兴趣的人分享，第三是cosplay。

Zhongwa.net is China’s largest sex doll forum, and its popular section has more than 290,000 posts. Sex doll users meet there to discuss doll brands and share pictures and their experiences with the dolls.

中娃网是中国最大的充气娃娃网站之一。用户在网站论坛上分享他们跟娃娃相处的经验和照片。

A forum user, Haowangjiao, said he felt sex dolls were much better than real women.

某论坛用户说，充气娃娃比真人要好很多。

“I like gentle and obedient girls. I don’t want my girl to be ugly. But the reality is that pretty girls are usually arrogant, have a bad temper and make you waste time trying to please them. They don’t know how to do housework. Those who know how to do housework are usually ugly and fat,” he wrote.

“我喜欢温柔听话的女孩子。我不喜欢太丑的，但是很多漂亮女孩太骄傲脾气大，得花很长时间哄。她们还不做家务，那些会做家务的长得又不好看。”

It’s hard to say to what extent his views reflect the mainstream. But many young men remain open to using sex dolls. “There are a lot of ways to meet women unless you have problems with shyness or socializing,” said a 27-year-old man surnamed Huang.

这在多大程度上反映了主流思想就很难说了。

While the primary use of sex dolls is sex, many middle-aged business owners see dolls as a way to remain faithful. Lin Degang wrote in Adult Beauty about how businessman buy high-end sex dolls to avoid taking a lover or turning to prostitutes while living apart from their spouse.

虽然对很多人来说，充气娃娃的首要作用是满足生理需求，但是对一些两地分居的情侣或者夫妻来说，充气娃娃却成为了男性保持忠诚的一个选择。

A 29-year-old sex doll owner surnamed Liu told Japan Times that he wanted a sex doll because he could only see his wife once a week and the doll could satisfy his needs without cheating on his wife.

3Tender Dreams or Bitter Loneliness?

Zhang, the MICDOLL owner, told Vice that his doll could satisfy his most tender dreams and desires. However beautiful that may sound, it’s unlikely that a voluptuous and lifeless sex doll can replicate a human connection.

一个充气娃娃使用者接受采访时称，他的娃娃可以满足他最柔软的梦和需求。但是不管听起来有多美，充气娃娃却很难替代现实生活中人与人相处中相互理解，相互扶持所带来的快感。

While some see sex dolls as toys or tools for avoiding infidelity, sex dolls can also be an emotional crutch for avoiding rejection.

人们使用充气娃娃的理由千差万别。对有些人来说，购买充气娃娃是因为害怕被拒绝。

In the article on Japan Times, Liu said a doll is better than a real woman because it won’t reject or resist, so people can do whatever they want with it.

一个充气娃娃使用者在接受《Japan Times》采访时就说到，充气娃娃比真正的女性好是因为她不会抗拒或拒绝。

A poll conducted on the Zhongwa forum found that only 20 percent of sex doll users say they feel the urge to kiss their dolls while the remaining 80 percent said the dolls were only for sex.

A Taobao sex doll seller said that is common in new sex doll owners. Most people buy a doll for sex, companionship or take photos, but later become more emotionally invested in the doll. A few users buy the doll purely for companionship. One Zhonghua user named Rounima wrote that he only talks to his doll.

而也有男性购买充气娃娃纯粹是为了陪伴。

“I just want to talk to her. I don’t want to have sex with her. I just need someone listen to me,” Rounima wrote.

“我只想跟她说话。我只想有人听我说话。”

Many doll users on the forum give their dolls cute names and record details of life with their synthetic partners.

很多用户会给他们的娃娃取一些很可爱充满爱意的名字，并且在论坛上详细记录与娃娃的生活日常。

Song Bo, a 3D game designer, had the same experience. His doll has become an “artificial daughter” he uses to cope with the depression of a cancer diagnosis. The doll, named Xiaodie, is a regular feature in his Internet writings where he explains how he dresses her, paints her nails and brings her to talks.

In an interview with Xinhua, Song said he had spent lots of money on Xiaodie but “its all worth it, because nothing can beat the satisfaction Xiaodie has brought me.”

Qzyhzf, another Zhongwa forum user, explained why he wanted the doll. “I am hugely disappointed by women and marriage. My dolls are my spiritual comfort,” he wrote. “It’s just too hard to have a beautiful girlfriend,” wrote Aub, another form user.

Loneliness, fear of rejection and self-doubt seem to be the reasons behind owning a sex doll. And that fear is not limited to Chinese doll owners.

孤独，害怕被拒绝，自我怀疑，可能是在购买充气娃娃背后的心理原因。但这种现象并不只出现在中国男性身上。

In 2006, Nick Holt directed the documentary Guys and Dolls in which many sex doll owners said the dolls “improved” or even “saved” their lives. “I can tolerate being alone, but not loneliness,” a 32-year-old man said.

2006年，Nick Holt 导演了一部记录片“Guys and Dolls”。片中，多个充气娃娃使用者说到充气娃娃“提高”甚至“拯救”了他们的生活。“我可以忍受一个人，但是无法忍受寂寞。”一个32岁的受访者说到。

In his book The Sex Doll: A History, Anthony Ferguson writes “a sex doll provides a good anatomical representation of a woman for intercourse without the usual prerequisites of social interaction, and without the possibility of rejection. The fear of rejection is significant, especially for the man who is socially awkward.”

Anthony Ferguson 在“The Sex Doll: A History”一书中写道：“从解刨学上来讲，充气娃娃的功能可以完全替代与一个女性性交，并且这种替代并不需要任何社交前提，也不用担心被拒绝。对那些并不是很善于社交的人来说，害怕被拒绝在他们的生活中占着很大一部分。”